Enduring Friendship

We used to meet and talk about our jobs and our relationships.  It had been about 6 months since we last shared a cup of coffee and caught up.  I have known Kathy for over 30 years.  Busy lives and a bit of distance makes it hard to meet more frequently. 

Our friendship had an interesting start.  I was taking a few courses at a local college and was trying to get into an already overcrowded class.  The teacher asked each of us to give a compelling reason why we should get a seat.  I stood and said, “I have a young son I am supporting and have to work during the day.”  I was immediately in.  Next to me was a stranger who stood and said, “I am with her.”  Also, in!  I looked at her and she said, “I guess this means I owe you a coffee.”  Over coffee we laughed till we cried about how we were both now stuck with Micro Economics. 

This has been an enduring friendship that has survived marriage, moving, children, divorce, death, and now elderly parents.

We used to race down hills skiing while we laughed.  And, although we move a bit slower now, what remains a constant is that we still laugh.  In fact, it is the laugher we share that has gotten us through all the trials and tribulations of life.

Laughter is good for the soul.  It relieves tension, gets the metabolism going and just plain feels good.  So, next time you meet with old friends and share the changing times in your life, don’t forget to laugh!

Thoughts?

Curveballs

We all get them.  We make a plan and unplanned things happen.  A close friend told her kids she would babysit while they went to a party.  She didn’t plan on getting sick.  Other friends planned a trip for several months.  They didn’t plan on his mother falling down.  And lastly, a dear friend planned to retire.  What she didn’t plan on was for life to be so expensive.

It isn’t whether we will get thrown curveballs that is the question.  The question is how will we cope when we do?  There are so many options available to us.  We can:

1. Moan and groan
2. Shrug our shoulders
3. Give up
4. Make a new plan

Life, after all, is a journey.  Some of the best journeys are filled with adventure, surprises, and yes, even curveballs.  How boring would life be if it were routine and predictable?

Instead of being upset and angry when life throws you a curveball, how about going back to the drawing board and coming up with a new plan?

My friend offered another babysitting solution to her kids.  My other friends waited a few months, replanned their trip and as I write, they are on vacation having a blast.  The friend who planned on retiring?  She got a lucrative offer and has a plan to work a year.

Yes, if you live in the real world, you will have your share of curveballs.  Don’t let them get you too far off course.  Use some perspective and learn to make them work to your advantage.

Opinions?

Adventures

A childhood friend of mine called to ask if I would like to go to the Grammy Museum for the day.  Before I could answer, she casually threw in, “And have an adventure.”  Without asking any key questions, I simply said, “Sure.”

Living in California, it is a known fact that driving one’s car, no matter how bad the freeways are, is as common as seeing a Starbucks on every corner.

As teenagers, my friend and I had the typical adventures of NOT thinking through any of our plans.  We simply went with whatever seemed to make sense at the time.  Nothing unusual here.

We met at Starbucks of course, got into one car, and drove to a parking lot where we were to take the Metro Link to Union Square.  Question number one should have been, “ Where do we park our cars?”  Answer?  There is plenty of parking after 11:00 a.m.  Time?  10:15 a.m.  We sat in the car and chatted about all sorts of things.

Question number two should have been, “How do we pay?”  When we got to the station, we stood in front of the Kiosk until a10 year old came over to help us.  Once we bought our TAP tickets we went to the turnstile and started tapping on the button.  WRONG, we needed to put our TAP card on the scanner (which another kind soul showed us).

To make an already long story longer, we continued to take a red line when we needed a blue line.  We went down stairs when we needed to go up stairs.  Question number three?  “Did we make it to our destination?”  We did!  Do I need to say that going home also had its share of mishaps?  If the very nice man on the train didn’t tell us we were going the wrong way, we would still be riding the rails 24 hours later.

Just like we did when we were teenagers, we went with the flow, we laughed at ourselves and we learned something very valuable.  Adventures are NOT only for the young.

Good Intentions

We all have them.  Every morning I get up and have a small bowl of Yoplait Light Fat Free Yogurt and a small handful of mixed nuts.  My problem is that I end each evening with a large bowl of ice cream and an equally large handful of M & M’s.

If you are anything like me, you either write a list or keep a running one in your head of all the things you want to do, would like to do and NEED to do. 

And, if you are anything like me, you understand that somewhere between ‘good intentions’ and sticking to the plan is, ‘the reality of life’. 

Whether you justify not sticking with your plan (I’ll diet tomorrow), or you simply forget your plan (ooops, forgot I was dieting), or whether you stick your tongue out at your plan (there are many people heavier than me), somehow you find yourself NOT getting closer to your goals.

I believe we all could do a better job at understanding ourselves.  What helps us to stay on track?  What causes us to sabotage ourselves?  Wouldn’t it be nice if a manual existed to help us understand why people do what they do?

Let’s take that one step further:  wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could actually have a book or manual that is specific to you?  One where you not only understand why you stay stuck, why you aren’t getting ahead, and why you continue to repeat the past?  A book that gives exercises specific to you.  One that helps you go from  ‘good intentions’ to realizing your potential, and accomplishing your goals.  I think so!

Something to think about?

Facing Your Fears

Have you ever really thought about what holds you back from attaining your dreams?  Have you ever really given consideration to what you have versus what you want?

I see so many ‘words of wisdom’ on various social media channels.  Things like, “God gives you want you need, not what you want.”  Or, “Things happen when they are supposed to, not necessarily when you want them.”  And, “We may not understand…..”  And on it goes.

Now, I’m not saying these sayings don’t have a ring a truth to them, but I equally believe in, “God helps those who help themselves.”  And, “Luck is preparedness meeting opportunity.”

Instead of waiting for something to happen, make it happen.  Find out what stops you from getting ahead.  Study your own fears to understand why you aren’t getting what you want out of life.

Spend some time this weekend really thinking about your life, your habits, and your responsibility in where you are.  Then, give some thought to what you need or can do to make the changes necessary to really face your fears and conquer whatever holds you back. 

This isn’t something small; give it some real thought!