What did you mean by that?

It made me think of the old game called (telephone).  One kid whispered something to the friend on the right who in turn repeated what he or she heard to another friend to their right.  This went on until all 8 or 9 kids heard and repeated what they thought the phrase was.

When the game was over, the last kid in the game told the group what they heard.  At this point, the kid who started it shared with the group what he or she originally said.  Then all the kids would start laughing because in the course of the game, what was said and what was heard was never the same thing.

While having dinner with a friend the other night, he told me that he thinks his girlfriend wants to dump him.  He gave me this example as to why he feels this way.  He said, “She has moved the TV out of the bedroom and into another room.”

Anyone who knows my friend knows HE LOVES HIS NIGHTLY TV.  He took this as a sign that she wants him gone.  I then put in my two cents; as all my friends know, I LOVE TO ADD MY TWO CENTS. 

I simply said, “Maybe she just wants more of your attention.”

He gave this some thought and over his pasta dinner tilted his head to the right and said, “I never thought about it that way.”

I wonder how often what we hear from friends, family and co-workers is what they mean to say.  I also wonder how many times we don’t simply say, “What did you mean by that?”  Perhaps if we did, we wouldn’t be playing the game of ‘telephone’, and there wouldn’t be so many misunderstandings.

Is The Grass Always Greener?

I was sitting in the park the other day.  I started to become really aware of my immediate surroundings.  I could see brown spots.  Areas where the dirt was uneven.  There were a handful of weeds, a gum wrapper and a few pesky gnats flying around.

I heard a noise across the park and looked up.  I noticed how green the grass looked over there.  I stood up and proceeded to walk towards that area.  When I got there, I sat down.  I looked all around me and again saw patches of brown, some weeds and an annoying fly. 

At this point I looked up at the area I had been sitting in and was amazed how green it looked.

This, of course got me thinking about the expression, “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.”  It’s amazing what we miss when we are far away.

Most everyone is dealing with some sort of garbage.  Most everyone has times in their life when things are good.  I think we tend to believe that other people have an easier life, a smoother road, or a more uneventful journey than our own.

Maybe if we looked really closely at those we envy, we would see that they are also dealing with their own patches of weeds.  Just like us.

And, maybe if we really paid attention to the good things in our own life, we would get more pleasure and enjoyment on our own side of the fence.

Ground Hog Day

I am reading a fascinating book about living life over and over again until it is done right.

It is IRONIK to me that I am talking about this subject, since I was born on Ground Hog Day and the movie covers the same subject.

The book has me thinking about how many people I hear say things like “If I had to do it over again, I wouldn’t have done it.”  This is usually followed with, “But then I wouldn’t have my kids.”  Or, “If I knew then what I know now”, again with a disclaimer of, “Then I wouldn’t be with you.”

I have heard very successful people say they were glad they made mistakes because that was when they learned the most.

I have also heard people say that even though their lives would be different now, they would not have made the same decisions when they were younger.

I have always felt that to regret what you can’t change seems futile.   I have always believed that we should accept what we can’t change.  And, I am a firm believer in finding the lessons and moving on.

Having said that, yes there are things I would do differently.  Yes, there are decisions and choices I made that were not in my best interest.  But, in reality because of or despite the road and options I have taken, I am who I am.  And that is okay with me.

Time

I actually asked the technician to check my records.  I was in shock that an entire year passed since my last mammogram. 

When I said I will see you in 6 months to the receptionist at my Dentist, it felt more like a deja vu, rather than something I said a half a year ago.

So many of the conversations I hear are just about this very subject.  A friend recently said her grandmother always said, “Blink your eyes and your kids are grown.”  I personally know this to be true.  There is no way I could be the mother of a 40 year old who is the father of a 10 year-old.

I know it is impossible to stop time.  There is no way we can freeze our lives.  However, what we can do is make the most out of the time we have.

Back in the 60’s, in the original movie The Parent Trip with Halley Mills, there was a line that stayed with me.  The Character of Susan was sniffing her grandfather.  He asked her what she was doing.  She said, “I am making a memory of you.  When I am very old and I think of you, I will remember how my grandfather smelled of tobacco and peppermint.”

I find myself stopping throughout the day to take the day in.  I look at the sky.  I listen to the sounds.  I pay attention to how the air feels and smells. 

My plan is when I can no longer go and do the things I love; I will be able to recall them through the memories that I make each day.

Generations

I am getting a real kick out of my grandson as I watch him turn from a little boy to a young man. 

There has been a major shift in the blending of the generations over the past many decades.  Yes, I come from parents who told me many times how lucky I was that they even acknowledged our opinions as they were from the generation of,  “Children were seen yet not heard.”

Both my parents and grandparents were outraged at our clothes and the music we listened to.  They probably didn’t know any of our teen idols nor could they relate to our ‘wish-list’ of toys and games that we wanted.  They didn’t come to the ball field to watch us play, as we had our friends and activities, and they had theirs.

So, back to my grandson.  He face-timed me this morning.  (Face-time is, a technology used by our mobile phone or computer where we can actually see the person we are talking with).  We play similar games on our Apple devices.  We listen to the same tunes (sometimes) on our ‘playlists’.   I have a working knowledge of Sponge-Bob and the movies he goes to see.

I always felt that to be ‘a young’ whatever age you are it is important to be up-to-date in the generation you are living in.  It is the reason many of my friends read People Magazine, watch TMZ and shop at Forever 21. 

My generation doesn’t want to look, act, or pretend to be 20 years younger than they are.  They just don’t want to look, act or be 20 years older before they need to