Whose Business Are You Minding

I was sitting around a poker table.  I love the game.  It is as much a study in people as it is a game of luck combined with skill.

The lady sitting to my left won a very large pot.  She didn’t start out with a good hand.  She got VERY lucky.  While pulling in all her chips she smiled and said, “Gambled!”  What she actually meant was, “I really played horribly and won anyway.”   Gamblers call that “Lady Luck”.

This is the very same woman who 15 minutes earlier had a great hand and lost to a gentleman who should never have been in the game.  When this man won, you could hear the lady grumbling under her breath, “I can’t believe he played such bad cards; boy did he get lucky.”

Human nature.  You have to love it.  Whether you understand poker or not, I know you can understand accepting that many of us give ourselves a pass (excuse) while wagging a finger at someone else who is doing the exact same thing.

Do you flip off another driver for cutting in front of you, and then justify it when you do it to someone else because you are in a hurry?  Do you judge the woman in the supermarket for being impatient with her toddler; yet explain your yelling at your kid because you’ve had a long day?

Perhaps we should be spending more time working on our own shortcomings instead of being judge and jury with others.  The truth is, we really can’t change someone else; however, we can change ourselves.

Something to think about.

Walking the Walk

This morning a friend and I watched James Patterson being interviewed.  He is a well-known author and has enjoyed a career that by anyone’s standards has been successful.

One of the things he talked about was the ‘vanishing’ bookstores.  Whether it is more convenient, easier to change the fonts or lack of room for hard covered books, more and more people are reading on their electronic tablets.

Mr. Patterson reminisced about the smell of a book, walking around the bookstore or library and in general, the experience of leisurely spending time flipping through pages before making a purchase.  He talked about this as if it were decades ago that bookstores were on every corner.

Many of my friends complain about the closing of these stores, while they are uploading a novel.  Those who had refused before to get their books on- line are now doing just that.  Not because it really is their preference, but simply because like everything else, the world is changing and they have accepted that change.

So, why do we do it?  Why do we shrug our shoulders and go with the flow?  Why aren’t we putting up more of a fight?

James Patterson is supporting local bookstores by donating money to those that provide him certain information about their store.  I really respect him for doing that.

So, next time you pass a neighborhood bookstore don’t just think that it is sad that they are few and far between.  Walk in.  Spend time, then spend money and buy a book for yourself or a gift for someone else.

Instead of being someone who just talks the talk, start walking the walk.  We really can affect things one person at a time.

Nothing New Under the Sun

I have had many conversations recently regarding the following subject.  It is that every generation shares the wisdom they learned with the next generation.  The interesting thing is the information never changes.  Now, the way in which the moral or story is shared could be different.  And, the importance or weight of the message could be different.

However, when all is said and done, “There truly is nothing new under the Sun.”  So why is it important to continue to tell and retell certain things? 

For instance, is there really any new information regarding the loss of weight?  I think all would agree that less food, and more exercise works.

Is there anything new regarding money?  I think all would agree that if you spend more than you earn you would be in debt.

And, if you need another example, I think all would agree that if you procrastinate, your chores would not get done.

And still every magazine has an article on diets, financial advice and improving one’s bad habits.

It seems to me that humans are wired in a way that we need to actually experience, not just read or hear from others about life.  It seems to me that the lessons that stay with us are the ones in which we have tried something and failed, and then have tried a different way.

Although it is important to share history in hopes that younger generations don’t repeat what generations before them learned, in reality, when we make mistakes, our best chance of NOT repeating them is to acknowledge them, accept our part in making them and then make the necessary changes.

Agreed?

Communication

I write a lot about communication.  I believe it is very important whether we are talking about interpersonal relationships, work situations or just plain getting along.  And, I have to admit like everyone else, I am guilty of NOT communicating in a way that I would like.

Presently, I find myself in a situation where communication has broken down completely.  And, I find myself just wanting to give up.  Here is what I have taken out of my recent communication breakdown.

Nothing that you text, write or say will be taken in the vein you mean it when the receiver is angry.  If you say something like, “Thank you for being an adult (yes, a direct quote from me), they will hear, “Thank you for finally NOT acting like a child.”  What I really meant was, “Thank you for taking the time to address this and NOT do as many do and just blow it off.”

I said, “You are so good at this game, why would you need a dictionary?”  They took it in a way that questioned their integrity.  I believe when someone is already sensitive, NO matter what is said, it will be taken wrong. 

It is becoming easier for me to understand with all the problems in the world with different cultures, political views and backgrounds, why it seems impossible to understand and come to terms on any subject.

When two friends who speak the same language can’t agree on something so silly as the rules to an on-line game, how in the world can we agree on issues that are much more important and serious?

Can you relate?

The Rest of the Story

My brother likes to tell this story about his friend, who was very aware of his young son’s ability to stretch the truth and be dramatic.

During a play date, the 10 year old ran to his dad crying that his friend pushed him down and broke his glasses.  Instead of dad getting all upset, he simply said, “What did you do right before you were pushed?”  Without blinking an eye, the boy simply said, “I punched him, but two wrongs don’t make a right.”

Although this is a funny story, I believe that we tend to jump to conclusions without hearing the entire story. 

Perhaps the next time you are about to go off on someone, try asking a few questions to get some clarity on what really happened.

Perhaps doing this will stop an argument or misunderstanding.

Think about it.