Wisdom

A young wife called into a talk radio show to complain about her messy husband and noisy kids.  She said she was tired of picking up after him and reminding her little ones to be quieter.

As soon as she aired her list of complaints, to which the on-line therapist gave her suggestions on how to deal with her family, another caller was waiting to pipe in.

This woman in her 70s said her husband died many years ago and her children have long been gone, having moved away for careers and to live their lives.

She said she too used to complain about the same kinds of things.  She said her house is now very quiet.  TOO quiet.  And everything is in place, not a shoe or piece of clothing ‘hanging’ around.

With much wisdom and reflection, the older woman said it is the very things we complain about that one day we will miss.

When you walk into your home and hear the kids yelling or arguing, stop and think, one day they will move on.  When you see your partner’s clothes or personal property on the kitchen table or floor, stop and think, what if something were to happen to them.

One of the best advice I was given in my 30s by a favorite employer of mine was, “Roni, don’t sweat the small stuff.”  He then went on and pretty much threw everything other than health and real tragedy into the small stuff category.

Don’t wait until you are older and you are alone to realize how much you will miss the very things that bother you now.

Thoughts?

Checking In With Yourself

This might seem like a strange thing to do, however, I believe it is important.  Many of us make promises, resolutions and lists of things we want to do every January 1^st.

 

It is hard to believe that we are approaching the middle of the year already.  The most common complaint I hear is, “Where has this year gone?”  It seems as if we begin the New Year and the next thing we know, it is summer.  Then, before we have a chance to think about it, we are getting ready for the fall and winter holidays.

So, back to my question of checking in with yourself.  Just how are you doing with all the things you were going to do this year?  Lose that extra five pounds?  Go back to school to finish your degree?  Clean out your garage and have a garage sale?

It is very easy to get caught up in the day-to-day minutia of life.  We live in a very busy and demanding world.  Work, school, children, family, friends and oh yes, sleep, tend to keep us from focusing on what we thought seemed so important a mere 6 months ago.

So take some time and think about the things you wanted to do for yourself.  For others.  In case you didn’t know this, you are allowed to make resolutions to do better and be better, even though a new year won’t be starting for another 6 months.

Something to think about.

No Good Deed

One of my earliest memories of my dad teaching us a grown-up lesson was, “Never hire family, loan money or play match maker.”  He went on to say that more likely than not, the nephew you wanted to help turns out to be lazy, the money somehow never gets paid back and anyone who has actually fixed up a friend or two on a date has their own horror story.

So, what happens when a friend or relative just wants to be helpful?  Do they ignore their desire to give a helping hand?  Do they turn the other way because they are concerned things can go badly?  When we think about it this way, it does seem unfeeling and cold to do nothing at all.

And yet, over the past many years I have witnessed all of the above.  And, every single one of them turned out badly.  Some worse than others. 

All of the examples I gave started with the best of intentions.  Most of the people involved talked about the situation.  They made realistic plans and time lines.  AND YET, when all was said and done, relationships were strained and friendships tested.

I have no real answers or advice here.  And, I believe that although lessons were learned by all, given a similar set of circumstances today, they would do the same thing.  I think it speaks to the heart and not the head.

Perhaps the lesson is, “Don’t look for the thank you or the payback.” Acknowledge that what you did, you did because you chose to.  AND, no matter the outcome, you did it not for the ‘hero’ factor but because it made you feel good.

Thoughts?

Who Let the Dogs In?

Anyone who has a dog can relate.  Anyone who has a Beagle can sympathize.  It is built into the DNA of every Beagle to ALWAYS be on the prowl for anything that appears edible.

My Roxie considers ‘edible’ to mean anything she can sink her teeth into and chew.  There isn’t a burger, candy, candy wrapper, veggie or cracker that is safe around her.  AND, when I have guests over, I let them know.  I tell them, “If you care about your plate of food, keep it above your waist or in the middle of the table.”

For those of you who think this is off-subject to what I usually write about, let me continue.

We all attend functions with members of our family that we know to have certain habits, quirks and let’s say, ‘less than desirable’ traits.  Yet, whenever we see them, we expect they will change or perhaps NOT be so annoying. 

Next time you go to that wedding, BBQ, graduation or Mother’s Day brunch, try to embrace the differences.  Instead of becoming uptight or angry because someone else isn’t doing what you think they should, or perhaps acting the way you would like, understand that like the various different dog breeds people also have their ways.

Try to find the “funny”, and the humor in the situation.  If you do this, perhaps the next time will be more enjoyable for you.

Let me know your thoughts.

Who Me, Give Up?

My son was at a marketing convention last week.  He stood in line to have the co-writer of the ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul’ series sign a copy of the book for him.  What impressed him most was that there were 150 rejections before the book was picked up by a publisher.

I believe the book ‘The Help’ also had over 150 rejections.  Then, of course there was that little Oscar winning film ‘Good Will Hunting’ (the first we ever heard of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck), that was rejected by every studio in Hollywood.

What is the point?  What is the message?  For one, if what you are doing isn’t working, instead of giving up, find another way to get the results you desire.  Don’t take ‘rejection’ personal; take it as a challenge to go back to the drawing board.  I believe that when Matt and Ben couldn’t get anyone to take them seriously, they went to family and friends to get investors.

Life is complicated and competition is fierce.  Although it seems as if some people get all the breaks and are just plain lucky, the reality is more likely then not, they kept knocking on doors, studying and learning their craft and NEVER GAVE UP.

You’ve heard about the so-called overnight success when you see a movie with what appears to be a breakout actor or actress.   However, what you later learn is they appeared in hundreds of mob scenes, had one line in ‘straight to video’ movies and many small roles in commercials or TV shows before they ever got a real break.

Many CEO’s and Vice-Presidents of companies started in the stockroom or as a receptionist.  The reality is, the more you put out there, the better your chances are of getting the job, the girl or the promotion.

As hard and frustrating as it is, try not to see ‘no’ as the end result, try to look at it as the beginning of another effort or idea.  Perhaps the one that is actually better suited for you.

Thoughts?