Some people are experts in taking small problems and making them so much larger. And, some people defuse a situation simply by NOT adding fuel to the fire.
Today I had what could have been an uncomfortable confrontation with a co-worker. I had reason to be upset. In my mind I was running through all the things I intended to ‘call her on’. I was justified and although I knew this wouldn’t be pleasant, I was prepared to go to battle.
Instead of this issue becoming larger than it needed to be, my co-worker called me and simply said, “I understand you are bent.” Instead of my going off on her, or even stating my issue, I simply said, “Yes.” She then went on to talk through the situation with me.
She took some responsibility, and I shared in a calm, non agitated way why I was, in fact, ‘bent’.
I give her credit because instead of her becoming defensive, causing me to accelerate my anger, she defused the situation and we both were able to talk about a better way of communication in the future.
Would you say that you are the type of person who tends to agitate a situation or defuse it?
If getting our point across is our goal, don’t we have a better chance of being heard if the other person is not pushed into a corner or feeling attacked?
I think so.