Thursday, December 20, 2012

Warts and All!

What exactly does this mean?  I suppose it could mean that you accept your loved one with his or her flaws.  It could also mean that you love your children despite their imperfections.  Your job?  You spend more time thinking about the positive rather than the negative, even if it simply means that you are lucky in this economy to even have a job.

But what does it mean when the subject is you?  Those extra few pounds, the blemishes near your nose, or your beach hair?  When you look in the mirror do you see your strengths?  Or do you see your weaknesses?  Do you see the beauty, or, do you see the warts?

When I was about 14, I really hated my looks.  I don’t believe I was very different than most kids.  I remember one particular day where my hair wouldn’t cooperate, I had an annoying pimple (pretty sure there isn’t any other kind), and I know I was feeling fat (although in reality I was a normal sized kid).

I walked around the house complaining (again, 14).  My mother looked at me and said I looked beautiful.  At that point, my mother lost all of her credibility with me.  How could she think that?  I knew it wasn’t true.  It was definitely not my best Roni.

This past year, I mentioned this to a friend who is a therapist.  I was fully expecting her to confirm my suspicions that mothers lie to protect their kid’s feelings.  It surprised the hell out of me when she said, “In her eyes you probably looked beautiful.”

It is amazing how this small awareness has changed my view on how we see ourselves, and how our loved ones see us.  Perhaps we should give ourselves the same break that we give others - to love ourselves, Warts and All!