Isn't it IRONIK?: August 2014

I am not talking about making lemonade from lemons. I am not talking about dealing with life’s little challenges. I am talking about when life truly hits you with a full-blown-out catastrophe.

A 24-hour pity party with a box of chocolate won’t help. A glass of wine with a friend doesn’t cut it. And the sage old advice about life not giving you more than you can handle is pure bunk.

When the disappointment seems unending. When your sadness seems like a life-sentence, when there are no good solutions, how does one go on?

When it come to mistakes we’ve made, unfairness or the many injustices others have done to us, it really only hurts us if we obsess about it. Fostering hurts and wounds only keeps them alive for us. The other guy has moved on and more likely than not is not affected by his or her actions.

Whether you were over looked for promotions. Whether a fire or other natural disaster took your possessions, whether you experienced a loss of a friend or family member, the reality is life does continue.

I read and hear about such tremendous challenges people go through. I read and hear about where their lives are years later. So many are stronger, and although have the physical and emotional scars continue to keep going. Yes, some better than others.

I believe the reality is that most of us will experience situations that will question our faith, question ourselves, cause us to wonder if it really is worth it and have us wonder whether the world wouldn’t be better off without us.

If this sounds like a familiar story line, one just needs to have seen the Christmas movie called, “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

I have no answers or solutions. I have always felt it is not the trouble we get into that is important; it is how we handle it that speaks of our character and worth.

So, when life seems to kick you in the ass, whether you helped it or truly are a victim, accept it, own it, look for solutions and move on with your life. It is what survivors do.

When Life Kicks You in the Ass

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Who Will Be There For Me?

The other day while walking my dogs. a dog without a leash came bounding across the street. He was big, he was fast and I immediately became concerned. Although he didn’t act or look like a threat, my little dog could have started barking and I found myself concerned that things could get out of control.

While telling the stray dog to go home, I am the one who did exactly that. I managed to get my two pups back in the house. I then grabbed some dog treats and walked up the street to try and find this dog’s home. Yes, I was uneasy, yes, I was a bit nervous. My biggest fear however, was that this beautiful dog could get hit by a car.

All turned out well as my friend and I worked together to read “Gypsy’s” tags and locate the owner.

Before that happened, I approached a lady across the street where it turned out Gypsy lived. The lady was in her car in her driveway. I said, “Hello, I am wondering if you know this dog or it’s owner.” She looked at me while still in her car and said, “No, and I am not a dog person, and it’s not my business.”

In my mind, I couldn’t help but take her lack of compassion to the next step. If she heard a neighbor lady scream, would she NOT call 911 because it wasn’t her business? How often do we hear about a crowd watching someone being bullied or assaulted and walk away? I understand fear of retaliation or taking a chance that the attacker would turn on you. However, reporting the incident, offering to make a phone call, some gesture of helping someone in need…

It didn’t take me long to use my imagination and escalate this scenario.

There are many variations of the following poem. It was written by Martin Niemoller (Jan. 14 1892 – March 6 1984). I immediately thought of it.

“When the Nazis came for the communists, I did not speak out; as I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats, I did not speak out; I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists, I did not speak out; I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews, I did not speak out; as I was not a Jew.

When they came for me, there was no one left to speak out.”

We need to really think about the world we want to live in and the messages and lessons we want to leave our children. After all, history has shown that the future of our world is truly in our hands.

No matter how big or small the situation is, if we aren’t there for each other, who will be?

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Who Will Be There For Me?

Friday, August 8, 2014

What Defines You?

Have you ever thought about what defines you? If you were asked to list out 10 things, what would your list look like? For some, they would start out by describing themselves physically. For others, they would start with their personality traits. For still others, they might put their accomplishments.

I wonder how many people would list, “The person I am with.” Me? This would not make my list of 10. Mine would look like the following:

Reflective

Open-minded

Funny (I understand this is still up for debate)

Caring

Direct

Appreciative

Loving

Understanding

Short

Good Hair

I met a friend for drinks and a bite to eat yesterday. We have known each other for around 20 years. She is smart, she is attractive, she is a good friend, she is grounded and she is compassionate. Everyone who is close to her can easily see these endearing traits. And yet, and this is a BIG yet, when there is not a good-looking guy in her life, her opinion of herself is pretty much “0”. She acknowledges (I told you she is smart), that her head tells her this is crap. She also admits with much frustration that her heart and her feelings cannot get past this very shallow and superficial view.

We need to do a better job of teaching our children to love and value themselves. We need to compliment them and instill a strong sense of individuality, so that no matter what their dress size is, or color of hair, or how tall or short they are, they feel valued and loved.

Until a person can truly love themselves ‘warts and all’, they will always live a life that looks for validation from the next boyfriend or girlfriend. Do not give up your power to another person. You are good enough just the way you are!

Can you feel my frustration? What do you think?

What Defines You?

Monday, August 4, 2014

From The Grave

Although I know my title seems morbid, it isn’t meant to be. I couldn’t have been more than 10 when my father told me that we keep the generations before us alive by telling and retelling stories to our own children. He said for the most part, a person’s life is forgotten after two generations.

I was lucky to have three of my four grandparents until my early 30s. My son was 8 when his last great grandparent passed away. My son now has an 11-year-old son. Travis knows my mother, who is 89. He has no idea who my father is or any of my grandparents.

I am finding this sad and unfortunate. While reading an article today in People Magazine about Bindi Irwin, the daughter of Steve Irwin (The Crocodile Hunter star), I mostly focused on what she said gave her the most amount of comfort through the most difficult of times, regarding the loss of her dad.

He wrote her many letters. He shared many stories, and he made videos for her and her brother. While he couldn’t have predicted his untimely death, his instinct to share his life with his children is a gift that will give them a piece of their father that they wouldn’t otherwise have. And, this they can also share with their children and grandchildren.

Next time you give a birthday gift or holiday gift to your children and grandchildren, why not also include a story about you. A story about your childhood. Give them some insight into what your dreams were. What you wanted to do with your life. What kind of kid you were.

I would give anything if I could sit down for even an hour and ask my grandmother about her life as a child. Our parents and grandparents are always asking about our lives and us. They listen to what we have to share. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we, as adults, could have an opportunity to get to know them, by reading the stories they left us?

For most it is when we are older and less absorbed in our own lives that tend to reflect and realize just how precious time is. Do you agree?

From The Grave

This Is Only a Test!

Yes, it’s true, this is only a test. Not a Blog! But standby because there’s another one coming along any second! Please stand by…

This Is Only a Test!

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

When Life Kicks You in the Ass

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Who Will Be There For Me?

Friday, August 8, 2014

What Defines You?

Monday, August 4, 2014

From The Grave

This Is Only a Test!