Have you ever thought about what defines you? If you were asked to list out 10 things, what would your list look like? For some, they would start out by describing themselves physically. For others, they would start with their personality traits. For still others, they might put their accomplishments.
I wonder how many people would list, “The person I am with.” Me? This would not make my list of 10. Mine would look like the following:
- Funny (I understand this is still up for debate)
- Good Hair
I met a friend for drinks and a bite to eat yesterday. We have known each other for around 20 years. She is smart, she is attractive, she is a good friend, she is grounded and she is compassionate. Everyone who is close to her can easily see these endearing traits. And yet, and this is a BIG yet, when there is not a good-looking guy in her life, her opinion of herself is pretty much “0”. She acknowledges (I told you she is smart), that her head tells her this is crap. She also admits with much frustration that her heart and her feelings cannot get past this very shallow and superficial view.
We need to do a better job of teaching our children to love and value themselves. We need to compliment them and instill a strong sense of individuality, so that no matter what their dress size is, or color of hair, or how tall or short they are, they feel valued and loved.
Until a person can truly love themselves ‘warts and all’, they will always live a life that looks for validation from the next boyfriend or girlfriend. Do not give up your power to another person. You are good enough just the way you are!
Can you feel my frustration? What do you think?
What Defines You?