Isn’t Life Ironik?

The reason the show ‘American’s Funniest Videos’ is so popular is because we are watching someone else’s family or pet do something ridiculous.  Most of us tend to have a sense of humor and play when it isn’t so close to home.

That brings me to my present situation.  My mother.  She has recently been moved to the ‘Memories/Reminiscence’ area of the assisted living place in which she lives.  My older brother likes to call it, ‘The place where the door does NOT swing in both directions.”

While we are sad and are dealing with very real and hard emotions, we find ourselves also laughing.  There are so many funny things that young children and the elderly do.  Heck, we all do some very funny things.

Perhaps many would find my family odd.  Or, perhaps, many would think we are insensitive.  The first might be true, however not the second.  We are very involved with our mother’s care.  We would fly across the country to take care of her.  The entire family is concerned and there for her.

And yet, we find the humor and share the irony of getting old.  Our mother’s as well as our own.

I think we could all use a dose of laughter.  I think sometimes we take ourselves and our lives way too seriously.  Find the funny.  It is all around us.  Learn to laugh at yourself.  It is very cathartic.

Something to think about it.

Where Did The Year Go?

Every year at this time you can hear the collective sighs of, “Where did the year go?”  It seems as if we are celebrating the New Year and then before you know it, it is summer time, then the smell of turkey.

It is a common cry of parents of teenagers (although for most the time goes way too slowly), and grandparents to reflect on years gone by way too fast.  My grandmother used to say, “It goes by all too quickly.”

Well, it is no surprise that when we count the days until Friday as a new workday begins, and we see the stores carrying products for one holiday before another one ends, that we are in fact rushing through our lives.

Children can’t wait to grow up.  Teenagers can’t wait to move out, get married, and have kids.  And middle-aged people fantasize about retirement.

WHAT IS THE RUSH???

I have a sister-in-law that makes a choice every day to find something fun to do.  She tells me, “I have to work, but I choose to play.”  It doesn’t matter if she is tired at the end of the day.  Whether meeting friends for a coffee treat, or a glass of wine, or heading to water aerobics, she plans her week with enjoyment as well as responsibility.

She also plans for naps and downtime.  I think we can all take a lesson from her.  It is true there are things we have to do that are chores and work.  It is also true we can find things to do that give us fun and pleasure.

Agree?

A Little Black Cloud

I am not sure why we all feel like everything comes in threes.  Perhaps it starts when we are children.  Perhaps it comes from:  The three pigs, three blind mice, and feeling like a third wheel.  When someone famous dies, then two, everyone wonders who the third one will be.

So, it was no surprise to me yesterday that after being laid-off from my job and then hearing that my mother will need to be moved (her mental health is becoming compromised), that on my walk with my dogs, the skies opened up and my pups and I got drenched.

My response was to look up and say, “REALLY”????

 I think from time to time we all tend to feel like there is a little black cloud hanging over our heads.  I think from time to time we find ourselves saying, “Enough already.”  There is NO question that if we live long enough, we will all go through many challenges and losses.

This is why it is so important to find the fun.  This is why it is so important to really enjoy the good times.

Look for your blessings.  Every day you are healthy and your family is safe, take a moment to be thankful!  Life is cyclic.  I doubt that any of us truly has a black cloud hanging over our heads; it just feels like that way.

So, if necessary, put on your rain boots, get your umbrella and take on the day!

Putting Things In Perspective

I met an old friend today for lunch.  We have many interests in common.  However the conversation today was mostly about not giving up.  Opening all the doors until it is the right one.

We laughed as we shared the ups and downs of trying new things.  We compared notes regarding not giving up when perhaps others would have.

It is really hard to know when time and money is being wasted.  Or when time and money is being invested.

For everyone this is different.  I guess it helps to know how realistic your dreams are.  How much passion you have for what you’re doing.  And whether, in fact, it is worth the ride.

I had struggled a few years ago regarding taking on something new.  Writing a book.  There was money I would need to invest.  And certainly there was work that needed to be done.

I called my brother whose opinion I value.  He asked me two questions.  The first was, “Would the money you will spend cause you financial hardship?”  I told him “No.”  The second question was, “If you don’t do this, is it possible you might look back one day and wonder what would have happened had you gone ahead?”  I answered “Yes”.

It was as simple as that.  Sometimes when faced with decision-making, asking yourself these two questions could put everything in perspective.

How We Are Seen

I went to a friend’s house for dinner last night.  She makes a great chili and it was good to catch up with her.  The subject of powerful women came up.  It is not earth-shattering news that strong women are perceived as bossy and controlling and strong men are perceived as competent leaders.

However, I am wondering if in the quest to be taken seriously, some women have in fact gone overboard and are actually so scary and intimidating that they do fall under the heading of, “I am working for a real bitch.”

We talked about whether most people see themselves as others do.  My friend does not relate to the comments she has received regarding her demeanor, and feels she is compassionate and very caring of other’s feelings.  And yet, she has heard on more than one occasion that those around her tend to tread lightly.

Being a smart and yes, compassionate person, she has taken this to heart, and most importantly she has checked her own behavior and has made changes.  She hasn’t changed who she is (thankfully), however, she has changed how she presents herself.  This is a huge difference.

It is not a bad idea from time to time to check ourselves.  It is not a bad idea from time to time to listen to the feedback we get.  You may choose not to change your behavior.  However, if you are smart, you will think about what those around you say.  Perhaps you will learn something about yourself that you NEVER saw before.

Something to think about.

Tis The Season

There is no question that this time of year brings MANY feelings out into the open.  Everyone tends to talk about Happy, Merry, Good Wishes, and yet……..

Whether you are baking a pie from a recipe your grandma handed down, or meeting your new boyfriend’s family for the first time.  Whether you are thinking about past relationships or when your parents lived together and had family dinners, this time of year is VERY stressful.

I have friends who have grandchildren that won’t be with them because it is an every other year holiday.  I have friends who lost their parents or siblings recently and are thinking about them.

We all reflect on times past.  We all think about times that seemed less complicated.  Ending things.  Starting over.  New traditions.  All of these things come into our thoughts and minds at this time of year.

With traffic at a standstill, malls over-crowded with busy, rude people, it is more than challenging to keep calm and truly enjoy the holidays.

So, my advice?  Remember the past fondly, while you plan for the future with hope and faith.  But, more importantly, enjoy the moments you are in, because there might come a time when they will be the good old days that you will miss and can’t get back.