Thursday, December 5, 2013

How We Are Seen

I went to a friend’s house for dinner last night.  She makes a great chili and it was good to catch up with her.  The subject of powerful women came up.  It is not earth-shattering news that strong women are perceived as bossy and controlling and strong men are perceived as competent leaders.

However, I am wondering if in the quest to be taken seriously, some women have in fact gone overboard and are actually so scary and intimidating that they do fall under the heading of, “I am working for a real bitch.”

We talked about whether most people see themselves as others do.  My friend does not relate to the comments she has received regarding her demeanor, and feels she is compassionate and very caring of other’s feelings.  And yet, she has heard on more than one occasion that those around her tend to tread lightly.

Being a smart and yes, compassionate person, she has taken this to heart, and most importantly she has checked her own behavior and has made changes.  She hasn’t changed who she is (thankfully), however, she has changed how she presents herself.  This is a huge difference.

It is not a bad idea from time to time to check ourselves.  It is not a bad idea from time to time to listen to the feedback we get.  You may choose not to change your behavior.  However, if you are smart, you will think about what those around you say.  Perhaps you will learn something about yourself that you NEVER saw before.

Something to think about.