That’s How I Feel

I received a call from a longtime friend of mine.  I have known her over 30 years.  Our friendship has always been rocky at best.  Our biggest problem stems from an expectation and then a disappointment.  It is usually over something small that seems to get blown out of proportion.

“I called you twice, you called me once.  I wrote two paragraphs, you answered with one word.”  The end result is she tends to feel that I am blowing her off.

How many times do you find yourself in a situation where someone is saying to you, “But that’s how I 'feel'", when his or her feelings are hurt, although that wasn’t your intention?,  Or perhaps you are the person who feels slighted?

Friendships, like relationships, take work.  Somewhere between the giving of the message and the receiving of the message is ‘tone, intent, and attitude’.  Or, more likely, it is  perceived ‘tone, intent, and attitude'.

I am not sure what the answer is.  I am not sure what the solution is.  I suppose the best way to handle any situation where someone is telling you how they feel is to listen to what they have to say.  Recognize they have a right to their feelings and then move on.

If you have a better idea, PLEASE share your thoughts.

I Have Your Back!

An expression that is used to let someone know you are on their side, you are looking out for their best interest, and/or they can count on you.

I published a blog the other day that had a couple of grammatical errors.  A friend of many years let me know this after reading my post.  She and I have talked about being negative. Well, actually, I have told her I felt she tended to be negative.

Even though she had some concerns that I might take her criticism the wrong way, she let me know there were a couple of mistakes.  She understands that what I publish is a reflection of me.  I really appreciated her taking the time to let me know about the mistakes.

I am sure that at sometime in your life you were told, or have told someone else, “It isn’t what your saying, it’s how you’re saying it.”

It isn’t always easy to tell a friend they made a mistake, or are behaving in a way that isn’t in their best interest.  AND, it isn’t always easy to hear these things from other people.

I believe when we care and we have the other person’s best interest at heart, letting them know we are concerned about their choices is a risk worth taking.  Or in my case, telling me I should be more careful when posting my blogs.

If someone were to ask you how you feel about this, what would you say?  And, is there someone in your life that has your back?