Bullies

It seemed like wasted words.  It didn’t even sound convincing to me.  So, how does it make a 10-year old feel better?

It went like this:  A kid started in calling names.  Trying to get others to keep the ball from him.  The 10-year old became a target of random bullying.  It happens all the time.  Teasing, picking on and bullying has been around since the beginning of time.

Parents say things like, “Just ignore it.”  Or, “You know it isn’t true.”  And then we add all the wonderful things the kid is.  This is all in an attempt to not allow the bully to ruin the day, ruin the mood, and ruin the spirit of our children.

Life isn’t easy.  Bullies come in all ages and at various times of our life.  I know people in there 50s who are still affected by things said to them in grade school and during their middle and high school years.  And those who deal with the adult version in their work place.

There really aren’t any answers to this age-old problem.  Kids who are kind and sensitive will never understand why them.  Just like kids who can roll with the punches and blow it off will never understand why it is a big deal.

We can legislate food, drugs and safety laws.  What we can’t legislate is kindness.  That, my friends is something we should teach our children, our grandchildren and yes, even the adults in our lives.

Thoughts?  Share stories?

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree

Usually the expression, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” is said in a negative way.  Children taking on the not-such good habits of their parents.

I feel fortunate that yesterday I got to experience this expression in a sweet, positive and affirming way.

I attended a Bat Mitzvah that has left me with thoughts and feelings of hope and respect for the generations to come.  Although I am on the outer circle of the family of the young lady, I have watched her grow from the stories her mother told and the Face Book pictures of family vacations and her accomplishments.

The Bat Mitzvah had no theme, there weren’t fancy decorations, there wasn’t a disc jockey, and it wasn’t a lavish party.  The food was simple yet delicious, and the hall was the recreation room in the community where they live.

What there was, was much love, warmth and genuine pride.  As I watched Ella read from the Torah, give her speech and receive her parent’s praise of the little girl who now approaches adulthood, I was almost spellbound.

Questions of how to parent.  Wondering what to say.  Wondering what to do.  The answer seemed almost too easy for me:  Be the kind of person you want your kids to be.  If you want them to be kind, be kind to others.  If you want them to be grateful, be grateful yourself.

Kids do not do what their parents say (as my dad believed), they do as they do.  They are little sponges.  They want to please.  They want to be just like you.

Would you really want a mini-you?  Think about it, because more likely than not, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”.