Slow Down

“Slow down and appreciate what’s good in your life.” These are the final words that Brittany Maynard said to the reporter from People Magazine. The article was about her decision to end her life due to her having incurable cancer.

Wise words from a 29 year old. This didn’t become her philosophy when she found out she was sick. This was her lifestyle her entire life. She lived each and every day to the fullest. She probably did more in her short years on this earth then many do who live a much longer time.

When you think about your own life, how are you doing in this area? The area that addresses getting the most out of all you do.

Someone told me when I was very young that unless you are really ‘present’, the experiences you have aren’t fully experienced.  Being young, this was lost on me. NOT ANY MORE!

I really try to pay attention to my surroundings. I try to be aware and observant of the sounds, the smells and the joys around me. I tend to see positive, not negative things. I tend to find as many blessings that can be found.

I have been called a Pollyanna, or someone whose head is in the sand. However, that doesn’t bother me. I know the world can be a scary place. I understand that bad things happen to good people.

I am NOT unaware of evil, nor am I so naive that I think everyone has good intentions. What I am, though, is someone who chooses NOT to have that interfere with or ruin my life. And, since I am a relatively happy person who is relatively well-adjusted and living a satisfying life, I honestly am good with my views.

When you look at your own life. When you think about your ‘happy and appreciation factor’,  how are you doing?

Perhaps you might benefit from Brittany’s wisdom: “Slow down and appreciate what’s good in your life.” That is, while you can.

Rest in peace Brittany. You left this world a little bit better. Thank you.

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Slow Down

Thank You

A very good friend and I spent a little time this week texting our appreciation of each other. Nothing too long or too involved. We simply wrote how lucky we both felt to have each other as a friend. We made mention of the fact that we have been there for each other during challenges as well as celebrations.

It felt good at the time, but what surprises me is that it stayed with me for many days. I see all the time, various FB acknowledgements of appreciations and blessings regarding family and friends. Most of them are generic. More often than not, the person posting will say, “And you know who you are.”

So, this got me thinking. How are you doing in the personal compliment department? A phone call, a text, an email, or better yet, an in-person chat. When was the last time you thanked an individual for supporting you, or giving you a shoulder to cry on?

I believe most of us don’t take enough time to let the people in our lives really know how much we value them. And, if I am wrong and you are someone who does share your gratitude with your loved ones, pat yourself on the back.

A mass email or FB post is nice, however a message sent directly to an individual who has made a positive difference in your life has much more meaning and value to that person.

Try it. What you will most likely find out is that it will make that person’s day as well as your own. I know it made my day.

What are your thoughts?

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Thank You

Being Authentic

This is a subject that I am almost obsessed with. What exactly does it mean? For me, it means acting on the outside how I feel on the inside. Or, one could say, being true to myself.

When I was just 14 and getting ready to go on my first ‘real’ date, a family friend gave me advice that stays with me decades later.

We were sitting in my backyard and I looked troubled. He asked me what was bothering me. I told him I was going on my first date with a boy I liked and I wasn’t sure how to act and how to be.

He simply said, “Be yourself. If you stay true to who you are, you will not have to worry about who you tried to be or who you tried to act like.” I took his advice. Then and since.

It was never my goal to have everyone like me. I never changed my behavior to please someone else. I understood that some people would want to be my friend because of my humor, personality and values, and some would not, for the very same reasons.

I think too many people worry about being liked. I think too many people tell others not what they feel, but what they think they should say.

I believe we are all special in many ways. We have different talents, different opinions and different ways of doing things.

Perhaps if we could learn to celebrate our differences instead of trying to be like everyone else, we would be more comfortable. After all, it is our differences that makes the world a more interesting place.  Being authentic means being real.

My dad’s friend Bernie died many decades ago, yet to this day his advice to my teenage self gave me a lifetime lesson that has served me well.

Hopefully his advice will be something that has value to you, also.

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Being Authentic

Perception

This is a very interesting subject to me. We all hear about studies that are done regarding witnesses to an accident. If there were five eyewitnesses, there would be five different accounts of what happened.

I believe the reason for this is because we tend to bring so much to a situation. Pre-conceived ideas, past experiences, our own view of what is short or tall, slender or heavy. And, to top all that off, many of us make conclusions before hearing or seeing all of the facts.

It is no wonder that relationships become strained from communication issues. Many of us tend to hear what we want, that is of course, other than our own tone and judgment, and many times we are forming our defense and rebuttal long before the other person has explained themselves.

Why is this? Are we so anxious to “set the record straight”? Are we so impatient to be heard because we think we won’t remember the point we wanted to make?

I suppose there are many reasons. However, I believe most of us can do a much better job of being a better listener. Just because someone has an opinion and states it, doesn’t make it a fact. And, we really aren’t obligated to answer or defend anything we don’t want to.

My feeling is there would be less arguing and bad feelings if we spent more time working on ourselves and less time pointing out other people’s faults.

My feeling also is we might just get some insight into how we are seen by others if we tend to get the same kinds of feedback from many different sources.

So, what does this have to do with the eyewitnesses to an accident? Just that we are human, and our memories are convenient. Even so, we might learn and grow if we open ourselves up to the possibility that there is actually another viewpoint other than our own.

Do you agree?

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Perception

Your Younger You!

I found an interesting article in People Magazine this week where various movie stars and other famous people were asked what advice they would give their ‘younger’ self.

I found this interesting because most all of the people interviewed said, “Enjoy wherever you are in life, learn from your mistakes and don’t take yourself or what others say so seriously.”

I cannot stress enough about this journey called life. And it doesn’t really matter what age you are or where you are in your life. It will provide you with highs and lows. It will offer you chances and then take them away, and it will give you reason to laugh and to cry. You will, if you are lucky, feel and love so deeply that the loss and hurt will be painful.

Life should NOT be walked through; it should be approached with gusto, loud laughter and big old crocodile tears. Whatever age you are, take chances, open your heart, open your mind.

Look at your life as a gift. Treasure that gift. Always learn, always be kind, and always elevate those around you. Be the positive force in someone else’s life, but more importantly, be the positive force in your own life.

Don’t wait until you are in a nursing home or not mobile, to think of all the things you wanted to do and didn’t. Get up everyday and, as they say, “Take it on”!

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Your Younger You!

My Plate

If I were to compare my ‘stress plate’ with a ‘turkey plate’, I can only describe it as over-stuffed.

 

As I write this, my 12-year-old Beagle is having leg surgery. I myself will be having hand surgery in 3 weeks. Next weekend is our family reunion, which is out-of-town (yes, along with joy and fun there is ALWAYS stress when everyone gets together), plus the normal challenges that life presents us with.

While driving Roxie to the vet this morning, I was VERY aware of my heart beating a bit faster and my anxiety level starting to become uncomfortable. Just before I ‘allowed’ myself to become fully overwhelmed (still working on this challenge), I noticed the car in front of me with the license plate that said ‘Kope Grl’. Before I could fully appreciate the irony, it dawned on me that the song on my play list was from Frozen – “Let it Go”.

It amazed me how quickly I began to calm down as my thoughts changed to the following: “In a few days Roxie will be better.” By the beginning of the year, my hand will be much better, and lastly, along with the stress of all of us getting together (which restaurant do we go to, or will it be a movie or walk downtown), will come laughter, fun and the love that only families can provide.

The truth is that life is a mixture of calm and stress. It provides us with ups and downs, and as the saying goes, “You can’t get a rainbow without getting rain.”

 

So, the next time you find yourself letting your ‘stress plate’ get overloaded, try to use your internal tools, i.e., deep breathing, counting to 10, and acknowledge that time has a way of will healing what ails us. These things will help to stop you from becoming immobilized and help you to cope with the stress that comes with living.

Agree?

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My Plate

Bucket List

This has become a common phrase. A person makes a list of all the things they want to do ‘before they kick the bucket’. Problem is, we NEVER know when our time will come. There is a 29 year old young lady who is terminally ill, and has made a decision to end her life in the near future.

 

She doesn’t really talk about dying; she spends her time talking about living. AND, along with her family, she is spending her remaining time doing the things she loves and making memories with the people she loves.

 

Most of us get up, have our routine, go about our day and eventually climb into bed at night without really giving much thought to our surroundings, whether it is the smells, the sounds and/or the feel of the air. We are living a life, BUT are we really LIVING our lives?

 

Perhaps because of my age, I am more aware of time and how precious it is. I am about to hit yet another milestone. AND, as a good friend likes to say, “It beats the alternative.” And I absolutely agree.

 

How about we make a pact? How about the next time you take a walk, or are in the car, or you hear a baby laugh or see a dog wag its tail, you stop in your tracks (ok, not in the car), and you take in ALL the senses and you really become aware of the moment? It is what I plan to do.

 

Today is NOT like any other, and you will never have it again. If you choose to be a couch potato for the day, do it guilt-free. If you play a sport, give it all you have. If you are reading a good book or sharing coffee with a friend, be in the moment. NOT ON YOUR ELECTRONIC DEVICE!

 

Don’t be someone who near the end of their life has more on their bucket list than days they have left. A bucket list doesn’t have to have activities like climbing the Himalayas, ski diving, or swimming with the dolphins, although it can.

It can include spending a quality day with your grandchildren. Helping a neighbor with a garage sale, or taking an art class that you always wanted to. Whether your ‘bucket list’ is comprised of bigger than life activities, or smaller ones that have meaning for you, remember what is really important is that you are doing things that fill your heart, give you joy and make your journey one worth taking.

 

 

Please share your thoughts.

 

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Bucket List

Are we there yet?

Anyone who has taken a road trip, as a youngster is familiar with this common cry, “Are we there yet?” It doesn’t seem to matter if you are on the road for 10 minutes or 10 hours.

My observation is that most of us live our lives waiting for the workday to end, the week to become a weekend, or months to go by so we can take a week or two and go on vacation.

We plan the next holiday before we are finished with the one we are enjoying. Then the common cry becomes, “Where has the time gone?”

We realize that our lives are also lived in-between special events and time off. In fact, there are many more hours spent during these normal, uneventful times. So why aren’t we maximizing and appreciating them more?

I believe it is because we don’t take the time to really find the good in them. I am willing to bet that most days, most of us experience something fun, funny or interesting. However, instead of stopping and taking them in, we just cruise on by and not give them much thought.

Each and every day is special. Each and every day is not like any other. Take the time to stop and soak in the moment. Don’t just walk through your life, feel your life. Don’t take what you have for granted, appreciate what you have.

Happiness is truly a state of mind. I remember a particular day spent with my grandson when he was just three. We were at a park running on the grass, falling down and laughing. He stopped, looked straight at me and said, “Grandma, this is a wonderful day.”

From the mouths of babes. Try and make as many days as you can wonderful ones. You really don’t need to be on a cruise or vacation to laugh, be happy or feel fulfilled.

The question shouldn’t be, “Are we there yet?” Because wherever we are, and no matter what we are doing, in reality we are already there.

Life is a journey. It starts when you are born and it should end when you die, and not one day before.

Opinions?

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Are we there yet?

Lighten Up

These words stay in my mind. I wrote a blog last week and one of the comments I received was, ‘lighten up’. Of all the comments I have heard over the past two years, this one made me really smile.

Perhaps many of us are guilty of taking life too seriously. Perhaps we spend more time making mountains out of molehills. Now, I get that many deal with real challenges. Life and death situations.

However, more often than not, too many of us manage to take the smallest of things and stress and over obsess about them.

Here are some personal examples. When running late to work I would go over in my mind all the excuses I would give. I would then play the part of my boss and think of what I would say when he confronted me at the door. I believe in a career that spanned 30 years, I NEVER had to use any of my lame excuses, and I WAS NEVER confronted at the door by a boss with arms folded and a stern look. I did however, start out the day stressed and worried.

I have worried about African Bees, Lyme disease, drive-by shootings, various epidemics (yes, Ebola comes to mind), and many other small and large catastrophes that are out there.

It seems so human to spend time worrying. And for most of us, we will live to a ripe old age having managed to miss most of the things that are our worst fears.

So, why do we do this? Why do we make ourselves sick with worry over getting hit by lightening? I don’t have the answer because there isn’t just one answer.

So I have decided for now, this very day, I shall take the sage advice given to me last week and I will let my mantra be to just ‘lighten up’. I will save my energy for when I am actually faced with a challenge, so that I am able to deal with it and NOT be drained from worrying about something that has not happened and probably won’t.

What do you think?

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Lighten Up

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Welcome to my Blog!

Garage Sales

Sometimes while I am driving the neighborhood or walking my dogs, I see various homes where the people are having garage sales. We all see them. The homeowners put on their lawn old kitchen gadgets, out-grown toys, clothes that no longer fit and a variety of things that seemed like a good idea when they bought them (does an exercise item come to mind)?

The day (hopefully) is filled with customers who grab up discarded books, gardening sheers and old cookie jars, all the while looking for a bargain. Now, I image all these customers have their own worn-out, out-of-date items that they would like to display on their front lawn also.

 

Why is it that someone else’s ‘junk’ tends to look more appealing than our own? Why is it that the very things we would toss out are the very things we envy when someone else has them?

Does your neighbor’s life seem better than yours? Do their kids seem nicer? Does their grass look greener? Did it seem like they got a better deal on their car than you did?

Instead of peeking over the fence with envy and wanting what someone else has, how about feeling grateful and blessed for what you have?

 

Life shouldn’t be a race or a competition. Life should be about being happy, enjoying your journey and hopefully appreciating what you do have.

There’s always someone with more, and there’s always someone with less. So next time you look at someone else’s fortune, stop and think that there is someone out there looking at yours.

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Garage Sales

Bravery

We all have our fears. Things we dread. Me? Shots, needles or anything else that pokes my skin. Today I am having a relatively small procedure, which entails a shot. I am not looking forward to 10:45 this morning.

 

After reading an article regarding Joan Lunden, who is dealing with breast cancer, and my spending some time thinking about family members and their health challenges, I have to admit, I am VERY fortunate.

My daughter-in-law has on many occasions mentioned to my grandson (when facing a needle), that ‘bravery’ is doing something you have to, even if you are scared. This doesn’t change my concerns and fears; it does however, give me something to think about.

We all face our fears and demons at some point in our lives. And it is okay to be scared. And it is okay to show your vulnerability. This doesn’t make you weak or a bad person. It actually makes you human.

Even though others might have a more difficult journey. Or perhaps you are the one with a difficult journey. Don’t minimize what you have to deal with. Keep it in perspective. Feel your feelings. Lean on those you trust.

A very close friend reminds me when I complain about my aches and pains and then qualify it with, “I know others have it worse”, that this does NOT diminish what I am going through.

So, I will put on my ‘big girl panties’, accept a warm hug and a ‘hand-hold’ and face THE NEEDLE while remembering that what I have is curable and for this I am fortunate and blessed.

What are your fears? How do you handle them? I would love to hear from you.

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Bravery

My Website Video

Hi, I’m Roni Kugler and I’d like to welcome you to my Website. In the past two years I have written hundreds of blogs and many motivational videos dealing with everything we humans have to go through. Hundreds of thousands of readers are finding my words to be extremely helpful to them as they move through their lives. I hope you feel the same way. I look forward to seeing your comments and your questions. And please don’t forget to visit my YouTube Channel and subscribe to there and visit my Facebook Page to follow the conversation at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Roni-Kugler/299618560165450. Here you will find a form, on the left side of the page, where you can fill in your name and email address so that we can stay connected. Thank you.

My Website Video

Fuel

If someone were to ask you whether you tend to fan the flames or calm the fire, what would you say? I am referring to arguments, discussions, or a difference of opinion.

 

Some people are great at defusing potential fights. Others are great at taking something relatively small and helping or causing it to become WWIII.

When you think about your interpersonal relationships, would the people in your life say, “YOU stir things up”? Or would they say, “YOU help calm the situation”?

Your tone of voice. Your physical stance. Your attitude says something about you. Do you talk behind a person’s back? Do you create an atmosphere of hostility? Or are you the one who tries to be a calming presence to those around you?

How well do you know yourself? How would you like others to see you?

I have recently been an unwilling participant in a situation that went from bad to worse. When I reflect on the scenario, I can now see how it was handled, but more importantly, how it could have been handled.

We can all do a better job of taking responsibility for our part when it comes to the work environment, our social encounters, and our personal relationships.

For me, I would like to be viewed as someone who elevates a situation, not someone who fans the flames and causes chaos and ill-will.

 

Think about how you are seen, but more important think about how you would like to be seen.

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Fuel

Fuel

If someone were to ask you whether you tend to fan the flames or calm the fire, what would you say? I am referring to arguments, discussions, or a difference of opinion.

 

Some people are great at defusing potential fights. Others are great at taking something relatively small and helping or causing it to become WWIII.

When you think about your interpersonal relationships would the people in your life say, “YOU stir things up”? Or would they say, “YOU help calm the situation”?

Your tone of voice. Your physical stance. Your attitude says something about you. Do you talk behind a person’s back? Do you create an atmosphere of hostility? Or are you the one who tries to be a calming presence in those around you?

How well do you know yourself? How would you like others to see you?

I have recently been an unwilling participant in a situation that went from bad to worse. When I reflect on the scenario, I can now see how it was handled, but, more importantly how it could have been handled.

We can all do a better job of taking responsibility of our part when it comes to the work environment, our social encounters, and our personal relationships.

For me, I would like to be viewed as someone who elevates a situation, not someone who fans the flames and causing chaos and ill will.

Think about how you are seen, but more important think about how you would like to be seen.

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Fuel

The Odd Man Out

Several months ago, I started playing a new sport with people I had never met. These people have known each other for most of their adult lives. It had been a long time since I felt like the ‘The Odd Man Out”.

When I first started, my skills were NOT up to theirs. My knowledge of the game was poor and I had a difficult time remembering names. Everyone was patient with me. Everyone said, “You have to start somewhere and we were all beginners at one point.”

I have learned a lot from the 20 or so women who come out twice a week to get some exercise, socialize and play a sport that they love. While there is a wide range of personalities and skills, there is one constant with all the players. Fairness, kindness and acceptance.

I believe we can all learn from the open and accepting attitude they exude. The next time someone new moves into your neighborhood, or there is a new employee at your job, or a new kid enrolls in your school, think about how they must feel. It is not easy to fit into a group that has history. Trying to can be awkward and scary.

We all want to be liked. We all want to feel welcome. How are you doing in this area? Can you do more? We don’t have to like everyone that joins our group. We don’t need to have the same closeness as we do with people we have known a long time. But I believe what we should do is make an effort to make new people feel comfortable and not “The Odd Man Out”.

 

Something to think about.

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The Odd Man Out

A Kinder World

By the time my son was seven, we had lived in two states, four apartments and he had gone to three schools. No wonder he was fearful and unsure the first day at his new school as he entered the second grade.

I did all I could to assure him he would be fine. “Where will I put my lunch pail? Will the teacher remember my name?” The Saturday before school started, we drove to the school and walked around so he would be familiar with it. I assured him that he would be fine.

When he started school that first Monday, he was concerned. I, on the other hand, was a wreck. I worried all day long about how he was doing.

When he finally came home all smiles and relaxed, I asked, “How did your day go?” With much animation he said, “This boy named Steven Bryant came up to me at recess and said, ‘I know being the new kid isn’t easy; I’ll be your friend.’” I am not sure if the tears welled up enough for Ryan to see; however, I could feel them.

I found out where Steven Bryant lived and on Saturday I went over with Ryan to thank him for being such a kind boy. I then thanked his folks for raising this sweet, sensitive boy. Ryan and Steven remained friends through high school.

It doesn’t take much to ease someone else’s fears. One doesn’t need to be on a stage or pulpit to make a difference in someone else’s life. I really do believe if we teach our children to be kind through our words and more importantly, our deeds, we will find ourselves living in a kinder, gentler world.

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Be kind to others. Be kind to yourself.

A Kinder World

When Life Kicks You in the Ass

I am not talking about making lemonade from lemons.  I am not talking about dealing with life’s little challenges.  I am talking about when life truly hits you with a full-blown-out catastrophe. 

A 24-hour pity party with a box of chocolate won’t help.  A glass of wine with a friend doesn’t cut it.  And the sage old advice about life not giving you more than you can handle is pure bunk.

When the disappointment seems unending.  When your sadness seems like a life-sentence, when there are no good solutions, how does one go on?

When it come to mistakes we’ve made, unfairness or the many injustices  others have done to us, it really only hurts us if we obsess about it.  Fostering hurts and wounds only keeps them alive for us.  The other guy has moved on and more likely than not is not affected by his or her actions.

Whether you were over looked for promotions.  Whether a fire or other natural disaster took your possessions, whether you experienced a loss of a friend or family member, the reality is life does continue.

I read and hear about such tremendous challenges people go through.  I read and hear about where their lives are years later.  So many are stronger, and although have the physical and emotional scars continue to keep going.  Yes, some better than others.

I believe the reality is that most of us will experience situations that will question our faith, question ourselves, cause us to wonder if it really is worth it and have us wonder whether the world wouldn’t be better off without us.

If this sounds like a familiar story line, one just needs to have seen the Christmas movie called, “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

I have no answers or solutions.  I have always felt it is not the trouble we get into that is important; it is how we handle it that speaks of our character and worth.

So, when life seems to kick you in the ass, whether you helped it or truly are a victim, accept it, own it, look for solutions and move on with your life.  It is what survivors do.

 

 

When Life Kicks You in the Ass

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Who Will Be There For Me?

The other day while walking my dogs. a dog without a leash came bounding across the street.  He was big, he was fast and I immediately became concerned.  Although he didn’t act or look like a threat, my little dog could have started barking and I found myself concerned that things could get out of control.

While telling the stray dog to go home, I am the one who did exactly that.  I managed to get my two pups back in the house.  I then grabbed some dog treats and walked up the street to try and find this dog’s home.  Yes, I was uneasy, yes, I was a bit nervous.  My biggest fear however, was that this beautiful dog could get hit by a car.

All turned out well as my friend and I worked together to read “Gypsy’s” tags and locate the owner.

Before that happened, I approached a lady across the street where it turned out Gypsy lived. The lady was in her car in her driveway.  I said, “Hello, I am wondering if you know this dog or it’s owner.”  She looked at me while still in her car and said, “No, and I am not a dog person, and it’s not my business.”

In my mind, I couldn’t help but take her lack of compassion to the next step.  If she heard a neighbor lady scream, would she NOT call 911 because it wasn’t her business?  How often do we hear about a crowd watching someone being bullied or assaulted and walk away?  I understand fear of retaliation or taking a chance that the attacker would turn on you.  However, reporting the incident, offering to make a phone call, some gesture of helping someone in need…

It didn’t take me long to use my imagination and escalate this scenario.

There are many variations of the following poem.  It was written by Martin Niemoller (Jan. 14 1892 – March 6 1984).   I immediately thought of it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“When the Nazis came for the communists, I did not speak out; as I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats, I did not speak out; I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists, I did not speak out; I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews, I did not speak out; as I was not a Jew.

When they came for me, there was no one left to speak out.”

We need to really think about the world we want to live in and the messages and lessons we want to leave our children.  After all, history has shown that the future of our world is truly in our hands.

No matter how big or small the situation is, if we aren’t there for each other, who will be?

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Who Will Be There For Me?

Friday, August 8, 2014

What Defines You?

Have you ever thought about what defines you? If you were asked to list out 10 things, what would your list look like? For some, they would start out by describing themselves physically. For others, they would start with their personality traits. For still others, they might put their accomplishments.

I wonder how many people would list, “The person I am with.” Me? This would not make my list of 10. Mine would look like the following:

1.             Reflective


2.             Open-minded


3.             Funny (I understand this is still up for debate)


4.             Caring


5.             Direct


6.             Appreciative


7.             Loving


8.             Understanding


9.             Short


10.             Good Hair

I met a friend for drinks and a bite to eat yesterday. We have known each other for around 20 years. She is smart, she is attractive, she is a good friend, she is grounded and she is compassionate. Everyone who is close to her can easily see these endearing traits. And yet, and this is a BIG yet, when there is not a good-looking guy in her life, her opinion of herself is pretty much “0”. She acknowledges (I told you she is smart), that her head tells her this is crap. She also admits with much frustration that her heart and her feelings cannot get past this very shallow and superficial view.

We need to do a better job of teaching our children to love and value themselves. We need to compliment them and instill a strong sense of individuality, so that no matter what their dress size is, or color of hair, or how tall or short they are, they feel valued and loved.

 

Until a person can truly love themselves ‘warts and all’, they will always live a life that looks for validation from the next boyfriend or girlfriend. Do not give up your power to another person. You are good enough just the way you are!

Can you feel my frustration? What do you think?

What Defines You?

Monday, August 4, 2014

From The Grave

Although I know my title seems morbid, it isn’t meant to be. I couldn’t have been more than 10 when my father told me that we keep the generations before us alive by telling and retelling stories to our own children. He said for the most part, a person’s life is forgotten after two generations.

I was lucky to have three of my four grandparents until my early 30s. My son was 8 when his last great grandparent passed away. My son now has an 11-year-old son. Travis knows my mother, who is 89. He has no idea who my father is or any of my grandparents.

I am finding this sad and unfortunate. While reading an article today in People Magazine about Bindi Irwin, the daughter of Steve Irwin (The Crocodile Hunter star), I mostly focused on what she said gave her the most amount of comfort through the most difficult of times, regarding the loss of her dad.

He wrote her many letters. He shared many stories, and he made videos for her and her brother. While he couldn’t have predicted his untimely death, his instinct to share his life with his children is a gift that will give them a piece of their father that they wouldn’t otherwise have. And, this they can also share with their children and grandchildren.



Next time you give a birthday gift or holiday gift to your children and grandchildren, why not also include a story about you. A story about your childhood. Give them some insight into what your dreams were. What you wanted to do with your life. What kind of kid you were.

I would give anything if I could sit down for even an hour and ask my grandmother about her life as a child. Our parents and grandparents are always asking about our lives and us. They listen to what we have to share. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we, as adults, could have an opportunity to get to know them, by reading the stories they left us?

For most it is when we are older and less absorbed in our own lives that tend to reflect and realize just how precious time is. Do you agree?


From The Grave

This Is Only a Test!

Yes, it’s true, this is only a test. Not a Blog! But standby because there’s another one coming along any second! Please stand by…

This Is Only a Test!

Friday, July 25, 2014

When Life Kicks You in the Ass

I am not talking about making lemonade from lemons.  I am not talking about dealing with life’s little challenging.  I am talking about when life truly hits you with a full-blown out catastrophe. 

A 24-hour pity party with a box of chocolate won’t help.  A glass of wine with a friend doesn’t cut it.  And the sage old advice about life not giving you more than you can handle is pure bunk.

When the disappointment seems unending.  When your sadness seems like a life-sentence, when there are no good solutions, how does one go on?

When it come to mistakes we’ve made, unfairness or the many injustices  others have done to us, it really only hurts us if we obsess about it.  Fostering hurts and wounds only keeps them alive for us.  The other guy has moved on and more likely than not is not affected by his or her actions.

Whether you were over looked for promotions.  Whether a fire or other natural disaster took your possessions, whether you experienced a loss of a friend or family member, the reality is life does continue.

I read and hear about such tremendous challenges people go through.  I read and hear about where their lives are years later.  So many are stronger, and although have the physical and emotional scars continue to keep going.  Yes, some better than others.

I believe the reality is that most of us will experience situations that will question our faith, question ourselves, cause us to wonder if it really is worth it and have us wonder whether the world wouldn’t be better off without us.

If this sounds like a familiar story line, one just needs to have seen the Christmas movie called, “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

I have no answers or solutions.  I have always felt it is not the trouble we get into that is important; it is how we handle it that speaks of our character and worth.

So, when life seems to kick you in the ass, whether you helped it or truly are a victim, accept it, own it, look for solutions and move on with your life.  It is what survivors do.

Until it is Gone

 “I miss the good old days.”  Or, “I really miss my dad.  I think of him everyday.  I would give anything to have more time with him”, are said way too often.  This could also apply to any family member, friend, neighbor or co-worker.

Although many make the time to be with their loved ones, are we really doing a good job of appreciating them while they are still in our lives?  I don’t mean to judge or would I even attempt to say how much time is the right amount of time.   I just know when parents and grandparents are gone; it never seems to be enough.

When I was younger and would go to a restaurant with my family, we always felt bad for the couples that had the newspaper up to their eyeballs while eating with each other.  Now, of course, the whole family sits around a dinner table with the expectation that all the electronic devices are also invited to dine.

I remember a time when adults would talk and children would color or play with their food.  I now see toddlers in their high chairs with a propped up computer screen for them to occupy their time.  REALLY?

Who are these people that think this is a good idea?  Meals, whether at home or in public should be about sharing, lively conversation and laughter.  Have we gotten so far out of touch with what is really important? Do our children have to grow up and move on for us to try and make up for all the years we didn’t get to really know them? Do we need to lose people before we really appreciate them? 

Don’t be the person who regrets not appreciating what you have now until it is gone.  But more importantly, don’t be the person who regrets not spending time with the people you care about in your life until they are gone!

Something to not just think about, but upon!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Throwback Thursday!

I have noticed more and more people posting pictures and events from their past. FB has started a craze that is called ‘Throwback Thursday (TBT)’.  (We seem to be a generation of followers of whatever the latest fads are).

I for one, love this new FB trend.  It is wonderful that so many people are honoring their parents and grandparents by sharing memories with friends who have not had the opportunity of knowing them.  

Posting pictures of themselves going through the years and decades of ‘Fashion Faux Pas’. 

The old pictures are so much fun. 

I think there is a larger reason that ‘TBT’ has taken off.  Life is very stressful.  We are challenged with a world that has become global and very competitive.  Many of the values we grew up with have been over-looked or completely ignored.  The truth is, many of us yearn for what we remember as a less complicated time in our lives.

While keeping the past close to your heart, remember the present is where you live.  Make this time the best.  One day when you are much older, it will be today that is a memory for your children and grandchildren.  Don’t just talk about ‘the good old days’.  Create them each and every day.

Thoughts?

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