Traditions

I spent last weekend playing in a Mahjongg Tournament.  During the rounds of play I listened to women a couple of decades older than I am talk about the sets they have from their grandmothers.  I heard stories of how they learned the game when they were just children and their love for it.  It isn’t just the playing that they love.  It is the chatter, food, and most importantly the closeness they feel from sharing in an activity that gives them a familiar feeling of home and tradition.

This morning I was reading an article about the game of scrabble.  On her honeymoon the writer and her husband packed a traveling game that they played on the plane, in their hotel suite and on the beaches where they vacationed.

Her husband grew up playing board games and this love was passed on to their children after they were born.  Both of their boys are avid players and their family tradition lives on.

With the age of technology and the individual activities and games it brings, it is even more important to teach our children and grandchildren the traditions we grew up with.

A bowl of popcorn, a deck of cards (crazy eights come to mind), and an evening sharing stories, laughter and fun is on my list of things to do the next time my grandson spends the night.

In The Moment

When we are young, we think and daydream about being older.  When we are older, we think and daydream about being younger.

Older people tend to say, “I’m not getting any younger.”  Actually, they don’t have a lock on this.  None of us are.

With all the time spent thinking of fonder days, and imaging better ones to come, when are we actually living in the moment?

I am not sure most of us do.  We rush through the days to get to the weekend.  We rush though the months to get to the holidays.  And we rush through the years to realize our goals.

No wonder time seems to go so quickly.  And, what might I ask are we in such a hurry for?

I for one am going to try and make a concerted effort each day to pause and be aware of what I am doing and to enjoy the moment as there will never be one just like it.

Doing the Right Thing

I have been struggling for weeks now with how to handle my next-door neighbor.  He is a single father who has shared custody of his children ages 3 and 5.

Most of the time when they visit I can hear through the thin walls their crying and his screaming and his threatening them with spankings.  To say this is unsettling is an understatement.

I talked with a couple of people that I am close with.  I asked them what they would do if they were in my position.  A few said they would talk with the father.  One said it was none of my business.  Another one said they would leave a note of concern.

Tonight I walked over to his condo and knocked on the door.  My intention was to remind him that the walls were thin.  I thought perhaps he would take the hint and cool his jets.

Instead he turned off the patio and downstairs lights and ignored my knocking.  After a couple of minutes I came back home.

I am concerned for his children.  The constant yelling and threatening has to be horrible for all concerned.

I really don’t know what is the right thing.  I don’t want to make the situation worse.  I do know however that doing nothing is not an option.

Judgments

“I don’t have the patience for playing games on the computer, it is such a waste of time.”  A direct quote from a good friend of mine who watches TV around the clock. 

“I can’t believe how many people are on FB, don’t they have anything better to do?”  Another quote from a friend who uses every free minute to exercise.

We all seem to be quick to judge other people’s hobbies, habits and passions.  A friend defends her smoking, yet is all over people who drink.  Another says alcohol is bad yet pops ‘feel good pills’.

I find this interesting and yes, somewhat amusing.  Perhaps by critiquing other people’s choices and flaws it takes away from looking at and into ourselves.

This morning I was watching a program that talked about relationships and when to get out.  The one thing I took from this was that other people are not responsible for making us happy.  That is our job.

How are you doing in the happy department?  Perhaps we should all hold a mirror up to ourselves more often, instead of judging others.

Admiration

I think from the moment we see our mother smile at us, we seek the approval and admiration from the people closest in our lives.  This quest for love and approval doesn’t leave us until we die.

Although we are all individuals, I believe we have more in common than we do differences.  The desire to be liked, validated and yes, admired is shared by just about everyone.

We learn this early in life.  We do something good and mom smiles.  We do something naughty and there is that disappointed look.  With my own son, my frown had a bigger effect on him than anything I could have done to him.

We go on to seek approval from friends, teachers, bosses and spouses.  I don’t think we ever stop looking for that approval and yes, admiration from our parents.

I don’t care how old we get, or how much we accomplish, it only has real meaning when those we love and we admire give us that feeling that ‘we done good’!

A Rose Garden

There are all kinds of people in the world.  There is a lot of unfairness in the world.  We only need to read a paper, watch the news or go to MSNBC on our computers.  We cannot change other people’s behavior.   We can, however, change our own.  Part of that, to me is changing our expectation.  I believe the saying goes, “No one promised you a rose garden.” 

I make a choice every day to find the positive.  I make a choice every day to mind my business and be thankful that I have a roof over my head, food on the table, and good friends and family in my corner.

I try not to pay attention to what others get away with.  I can look in the mirror every night and feel good about me. 

My first reaction to the response from Anonymous regarding my blog on ‘In An Instant’ was, “This person really sounds bitter and angry.” 

I am by nature a positive person.  I always find something, even if it is small, to turn from a negative into a positive.  An example would be, “Sure I got stung; could have been worse…” And, it really doesn’t matter to me what the worse is.  There are people who run into a hornet’s nest, or fall off of a ladder while trimming the trees after getting stung.

I have lived long enough to know that, “Good guys often finish last”, and, more often than not there is a train at the end of the tunnel.  Having said that, I am a firm believer that those of us who want to, can indeed make lemonade out of lemons.  The drink may not be as sweet as we like, however the drink belongs to us.