With an End, There is Always a Beginning

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The accepted definition of insanity is, ‘doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.’  I would venture to say that if this were really true, we would all fall under the ‘insanity’ definition at some point in our lives.

I consider myself relatively rational, pretty much grounded, fairly pragmatic, understanding, and for the most part accepting of other peoples points of views and visions.

To my friends who are now screaming, “ARE YOU KIDDING”? I did use words like ‘relatively’, ‘fairly’, and, ‘for the most part’.

So, with this in mind, I do have to wonder why year-after-year and decade-after-decade I hear the same promises, and New Year’s resolutions from the people in my life.  To say, I am not guilty of this myself wouldn’t be entirely truthful.

I haven’t always known what is good for me, but I have pretty much always known what isn’t.  I haven’t always known what works for me, but I have pretty much always known what doesn’t.

So, my thoughts at this moment as I look at the end of yet another year, and the beginning of a new one are:

1.    What changes will I make?

2.    What will I continue to put up with? 

3.    And what will 2013 bring to me my family and my friends.

I wish everyone a safe, sane, and wonder filled New Year!  May your hopes stay high and your dreams be realized.  If you want kindness, be kind.  If you want understanding, be understanding.  And, if you want to achieve your goals, don’t let anything or anybody get in your way of doing just that.

Warts and All!

What exactly does this mean?  I suppose it could mean that you accept your loved one with his or her flaws.  It could also mean that you love your children despite their imperfections.  Your job?  You spend more time thinking about the positive rather than the negative, even if it simply means that you are lucky in this economy to even have a job.

But what does it mean when the subject is you?  Those extra few pounds, the blemishes near your nose, or your beach hair?  When you look in the mirror do you see your strengths?  Or do you see your weaknesses?  Do you see the beauty, or, do you see the warts?

When I was about 14, I really hated my looks.  I don’t believe I was very different than most kids.  I remember one particular day where my hair wouldn’t cooperate, I had an annoying pimple (pretty sure there isn’t any other kind), and I know I was feeling fat (although in reality I was a normal sized kid).

I walked around the house complaining (again, 14).  My mother looked at me and said I looked beautiful.  At that point, my mother lost all of her credibility with me.  How could she think that?  I knew it wasn’t true.  It was definitely not my best Roni.

This past year, I mentioned this to a friend who is a therapist.  I was fully expecting her to confirm my suspicions that mothers lie to protect their kid’s feelings.  It surprised the hell out of me when she said, “In her eyes you probably looked beautiful.”

It is amazing how this small awareness has changed my view on how we see ourselves, and how our loved ones see us.  Perhaps we should give ourselves the same break that we give others - to love ourselves, Warts and All!

Isn’t it Ironik?

Yes, IRONIC is spelled wrong.  Well, if you look at it as ‘I Roni K’, then it is spelled exactly the way I intended it to be.

And, that tells you a little about how I tend to see things.  Not exactly as they are or they are expected to be, but how they are according to my world.  And, I believe we all are living a bit in our own worlds.

I have been waiting to launch a writing career.  This started to make me think about all the things that we seem to wait for.  For starters, to get older, to complete school, to move out on our own, to get married, to start a family and on it goes.

Many of us wait for someone else or something else to get our motor going.  “I am going to wait until the New Year to start my diet.  I am going to wait until I have enough money in the bank to buy a house.  I am going to wait for someone in my neighborhood to start a book club”, and on it goes

My best analogy, and I always seem to have one is the following:

I have this beautiful shiny new bicycle with all the necessary parts to take a ride.  The pedals to get and keep me going.  The brakes to help me slow down and/or stop.  The mirror to help me see who is behind me, my helmet to keep me safe, and my horn to scare the crap out of anyone who gets in my way.

And yet???  I am waiting for someone else to give me a push.  And, that is why I have decided to start a Blog.  I like to write.  I like to share my thoughts on how I see the world.  But most importantly, I am ready to ride my bike.

I Roni K.